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Steel
by Allie

It’s been well over half a year since I last saw him. Little did I know that that day would be my last with him. I could never imagine my life without him.

“Him” was my beautiful sorrel Quarter Horse named Steel. He had two hind socks and his forehead was whitening due to age. I found him at my barn when I was looking for a new horse. I rode him one night and fell in love. He wasn’t a horse I could live with. He was the one I couldn’t live without.

He was older, 16 at the time when we bought him and he was nervous and anxious, a tough ride at times but I wanted him. I needed Steel, just as he needed me. His owner didn’t come out to the barn often and he didn’t get the loving he deserved. So I bought him.

I had trouble riding him. I couldn’t get Steel to stop without looking like a train wreck. He’d spook at the littlest thing. He wouldn’t stand still for five seconds under saddle.

Eventually, we came together and we weren’t just a horse and rider. We were one. We knew what each of our next move would be together. He was everything I wanted in a horse, and more.

Steel suffered a mild colic in February, coming out of it fine. He even had a bout of lameness that no one could figure out but after two weeks, it went away.

I took him to our first show. He was fresh and anxious and didn’t listen well to me. No matter how long I lunged him, he was still excited. We placed last in all of our classes but I was still proud. We had made it through the show without any faults or mistakes.

I took him down to a weeklong clinic in Virginia. There, our bond increased even more. We made new friends, galloped up mountains and even went swimming in a creek. That week taught me how lucky I was to be able to have a horse like him.

About a month after our return home to New Jersey, Steel colicked again. I was riding him outside in the arena when I knew. He was standing still for once and pawing at the ground. I got off immediately and took his temperature, surprisingly normal. I called my trainer who came to the barn right away. The vet came out and tubed him. But Steel didn’t get better. He got worse.

We had to take him up to the vet clinic, about 45 minutes away. The drive up was so nerve-racking. I had no clue what was going to happen to my beautiful red horse.

First thing the vets did when we arrived was tube Steel. I got to hold him for them. IV cords twisted about my head as people bustled around me. The vets analyzed him and told us he had to have surgery or he’d die. The choice was made easily but there was no guarantee he’d survive. The vet let me say what could have been my final goodbye to him. I whispered sweet nothings into his ears and hugged him as tears trickled down my cheeks and they led him away.

I paced the cold waiting room for 45 minutes, anticipating the outcome of the surgery. I couldn’t bear the thought of my horse’s side split open. I thought the surgery was taking forever until the vet finally came out.

She told us that Steel had made it. His large colon had flipped upside down and was turning blue. She said if we had given him about one or two hours more, he would have been dead.

I got to go see him. He was standing limply in his stall, an IV dripping into his neck, his head low and his eyes lifeless. It was from the anesthesia. He gave no notice of me but I petted him anyway.

My parents drove me up everyday to see him and visit him. I groomed him and sometimes I got to graze him. Everyday I saw rapid improvement. Finally, he was allowed to come home.

I couldn’t ride him for two months. There was a month of stall rest and another month would be spent of him in a small paddock. Then, I could start light riding him again.

I spent everyday with him, when he was confined to the jail of his stall. I did my summer homework in his stall and eat my lunch in there. He’d drop his head down and try to steal whatever I had. I’d read to him and sing to him all day. Our bond increased strongly that month. It had gone from being a wine glass to a hard plastic cup. Nothing could come between us.

After another month or so, Steel was rideable. I rushed to the barn for my anticipated first ride. I only walked but still it was satisfying to be atop him again. After a week or so, I got to do light trotting. He was amazing for not being ridden in two months.

My last ride on him was the best. He’d given me a perfect headset during the ride and at the end, I stood up in my saddle, perfectly balanced. I hugged him and said he was the best horse ever and how he was perfect horse for me.

The next day, he was gone. I came home from school, excited to get to go to the barn and ride. I was going to canter today, my favourite gait of his. His lope was amazing, slow, steady and rocking.

I was greeted by my mom sitting outside, tears streaming down her face. I ran up to her, worried that one of my dogs had died or something. She blurted it out that Steel had to be put down from a compound fracture to his hind leg.

My world came crashing down on me when I heard the news. How could this have happened? My gorgeous Steel… gone? And after overcoming so much the past year? I was devastated. I cried for weeks, mourning him.

To this day, no one knows how it happened. The man who cleaned the stalls at the barn said he found him like that in the stall. But we’ll never know for sure.

To this day, I still wish for Steel to be back in my life. He taught me so much. My confidence is higher and I ride much better than I used to. Steel is my dream horse. A horse I’ll never forget. He’s still alive. He’s in my heart, body, mind and soul, running happily in greener pastures until I visit him again.