Funny Cowboy Quotes

Here are some cowboy quotes & tips for life:

  • Don't squate with yer spurs on.

  • Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.

  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  • Don't dig for water under the outhouse.

  • Never take down another man's fence.

  • Never drive black cattle in the dark.

  • The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.

  • Make apologies not excuses.

  • Water and truth are freshest at their source.

  • Don't go in if you don't know the way out.

  • Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

  • If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

  • Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town.

  • The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!

  • Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.

  • When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

  • Always drink upstream from the herd.

  • Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

  • Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

  • If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

  • If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.

  • Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket

  • Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

  • The biggest troublemaker you'll ever deal with watches you shave his face every morning.

  • Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

  • The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

  • When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.

  • Basketball, Football, Baseball... RODEO: Bring yer own BALLS!

  • Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.

  • It's better to keep your mouth shut an look stupid than open it and prove it.

  • Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.

  • When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.

  • There' are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

  • Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

  • If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

  • Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

  • When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

  • Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.

  • Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

  • If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.




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