Funny Cowboy Quotes

• Don't squate with yer spurs on.
  
  
• Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
  
  
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  
  
• Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
  
  
• Never take down another man's fence.
  
  
• Never drive black cattle in the dark.
  
  
• The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
  
  
• Make apologies not excuses.
  
  
• Water and truth are freshest at their source.
  
  
• Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
  
  
• Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.
  
  
• If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.
  
  
• Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town.
  
  
• The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!
  
  
• Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.
  
  
• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
  
  
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
  
  
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
  
  
• Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.
  
  
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
  
  
• If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
  
  
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
  
  
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
  
  
• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
  
  
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  
  
• The biggest troublemaker you'll ever deal with watches you shave his face every morning.
  
  
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  
  
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
  
  
• When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.
  
  
• Basketball, Football, Baseball... RODEO: Bring yer own BALLS!
  
  
• Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
  
  
• It's better to keep your mouth shut an look stupid than open it and prove it.
  
  
• Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.
  
  
• When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.
  
  
• There' are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
  
  
• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
  
  
• If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
  
  
• Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
  
  
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
  
  
• Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
  
  
• Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
  
  
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.